I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. I love my baby but I hate pregnancy.
I wanted to have a child but I don’t want to be pregnant.
I have had a lot of thoughts and feelings about pregnancy. I’ve been really honest and open
with people when they’ve asked how I’m feeling, I would say more so from around the “half
way point” at 20 weeks when I really drew a line in the sand and said no more – this journey
is not for me and I’ll call it how it is.
It’s bullshit! And I call BS on the glow!
So how did this all come about? Well, I was speaking to my friend and colleague Layla around the 18 week mark, she politely (and in my opinion correctly) asked “how are you feeling”.
So I shared.
I’m quite a good storyteller and do tend to put a humorous spin on things. But I was also
being flat out honest about my experiences.
Layla was in stitches. But also respectful of my journey and my honesty.
“You know, you really should write a book on this”.
I quaffed and said “yeah, Ive definitely thought about it. Even started planning it with my
friend. I wold call it “I call bullshit on the glow!”
She laughed heartily again.
After a few more harsh truths, honest reveals and very cathartic sharing, she re-irritated:
“Emma, you really should write this book. I think your perspective, your honesty and your
experience would really be beneficial to others who are going to have this experience. But
also, for people like myself who have not been through a pregnancy to be able to hear
from someone that can articulate so well what pregnant women might actually go through. It would help us to be able to speak to pregnant women, and mothers, in a more kind and compassionate way.”
It was really kind of her to say and to be so encouraging. I did think that the book would at
the very least help me. It would be cathartic to write and perhaps help me to stop lashing
out (well in my mind) at the general populous and perhaps feel calmer in my journey.
But the more I investigated, I did find an extreme lacking of books that share the experience
of a woman who didn’t enjoy pregnancy so much. There are HUNDREDS. And I mean
HUNDREDS of books on pregnancy, parenting and motherhood. But so few were clearly in
the “I hate/ strongly dislike/ am sharing the real (experience of) pregnancy”.
I do acknowledge the few books that cover this topic and have even ordered them to read myself. But there are few.
So, it’s time to write a book!
I’m not one to just add noise for the sake of adding noise. I talk a lot (as I’ve been
told all my life) and I’m a great communicator, but I do feel I speak with purpose and with
passion. If I have nothing to say, and generally if I don’t have something nice to say, I believe
it’s best to say nothing at all. But on this here point, I feel I do have something to say – and I
feel that the people who are having experiences like my own are just not being heard.
I’ll also note that there are MANY books that would share an anecdote, a story, or a chapter
on a woman’s own experience with pregnancy that was not favourable. But it’s still not the
premise and the focus of the book – it’s a blip in the radar, when I really feel this is a much bigger issue that is not being addressed and there are many women suffocating under the expectations
of society to enjoy and love their pregnancy.
So, I decided to write MY story. This is my experience. This is my book. I am sharing what I
have been through in the full, unabridged, no holes barred journey that was my path to
motherhood.
This is NOT everyone’s experience. No one in the world will have the exact same experience
as I’m having, because it’s simply impossible. And that’s ok. I honour and respect my own
journey and that of any other woman. I do not ask anyone to feel the exact same way or to
walk in my shoes.
What I do ask is that you respect my experience as it is. As my guru from the Vipassana
course would say “accept the reality as it is” and this is my reality.
I really do hope that sharing my journey will help other women on theirs. And for those
who’ve gone before me and felt that they couldn’t share as openly as they would have liked,
this is for them too. I hope it’s equally as cathartic, even in hindsight to be able to say “yes,
me too”.
If you are loving pregnancy … shut up!
Jokes. I am genuinely happy for you. But please understand, this is not the norm
for all women.
For those who have not been pregnant themselves, I ask you to please let the conversation
be led by the woman. Let her feel how she is feeling without putting your experiences,
of expectations, or understandings onto her first. Let her tell you if she is excited, happy,
scared, overwhelmed, overjoyed, elated, exhausted or otherwise.
Throughout my book, I will share some recommendations of how a conversation could be
had to help a person like myself feel more at ease and comfortable with their own journey.
How you can support the pregnant woman and make her feel loved, appreciated and
seen.
This however is not a “how to” book. There are thousands of books out there with
information, research, how to, step by step and processes. This is purely my experience of pregnancy and the anecdotes and stories of those women who have kindly opened up and
shared their honest experiences too.
And this website and blog will share the journey as I go as well as some stories from other women too, as I’d love for them to have a platform to share too. But my book, will be about me.
The book is for the women who want to laugh, cry and commiserate with the
experience that is truly life changing and not what was advertised in the “glowing”
brochure.
I call BS on the glow 