Weight: 64 kilos
The crazy cravings: gelato, chocolate, chicken for dinner, potatoes!
Planned to do a blood test and scan the next week!
(Note writing this on Saturday 25th of July, 13 weeks + 5 days)
Received our first gift this week. Such a total surprise. I told my friend and colleague Louise and she was so thrilled for us. I told her on the sly because I wanted her to know for planning in advance for work, but also because she’s a lovely friend and I wanted to share. She said she wanted to send a card and asked for our address.
The next day! A box arrived. It was a jar of beautiful flowers, chocolate, a mama cookie and the most divine hand cream. I was so so surprised and delighted and I’m so glad I’m writing this to you baby as I want to remember all the love and gifts we got for you, and because of you!
This week marked ¼ of the way in my pregnancy. The first milestone I actually want to celebrate and although it’s not a technical milestone in medical terms, it felt like one for me. WOO HOO. One win!
A part of me wants to be at the end already and getting to the mothering bit. But then a part of me is so not ready.
Your brother T’challa, our first baby (or FURst baby as I like to call him), has been very needy and affectionate. He is definitely aware that something has changed with his mumma. Cats are just so intuitive.
I got very protective of you, and me, this week. I spoke up to my Dad and said to him “my body, my baby, my choice.I will fiercely protect you and our little family bubble my sweet.
Ok, I digress for a moment …
For context, I hadn’t yet told your Aunty and Uncle (my sister and brother) about you. I have told some close friends, and some other very close relatives that I speak to often. I was telling who I wanted to, and when I wanted to tell them. Whoever I felt needed to know or would give me the support I needed at that challenging early stage of pregnancy. I decided for most of the family, I would wait for the 12 week mark, after our first scan.
My dad got quite protective of my brother and sister and was saying that I should consider them and their feelings. This fired me up something fierce. I understand he’s being a dad and thinking of them … but I am also his daughter and I am the one who is pregnant and going through this massive life changing thing. Should I not be able to choose how I approach it, who I tell and when I tell them?
The answer is yes!!! That was very much rhetorical.
So I explained this, very curtly and clearly to my Dad. It was not impacting or affecting my siblings not knowing. But having people know who could help and support me, was what I needed and I had to choose for myself who was in that circle. This felt right to me.
We also didn’t have to tell my parents then either, but I told them because I wanted the support. So it was a little disheartening to get this reaction and backlash when I had chosen to share and include them.
I also chose to share because I was so unwell that it was hard to hide how I was feeling and what I was going through from people I speak to so regularly. And in the chance that something unfortunate did happen, I wanted them to understand what I was going through.
The whole 12 week thing is based on the first scan. But it’s up to each individual and couple as to how they choose to share the news and when. I’ve read about (and heard from) other couples who’ve spent months, or even years, trying to have a baby and sharing that journey with family and friends. So it would be very strange for them then to turn around and withhold information for months on end.
The 12 week mark is only recommended. Some people don’t share till much later. Some people know as early as 2 weeks! That’s a LONG time to be going through something without sharing or having any support apart from your doctor and your partner, and that’s if you’re not having a solo pregnancy.
There is no “safe” point really. There are sadly occasions when things happen as late as 30 weeks, or even 38 weeks. So should we not get the support we need throughout the pregnancy from whom we need it?
I think we need to remove some of the stigma of the 12 week mark and let women choose when it feels right for them to share. But also that at 12 weeks, you should feel ready to share more widely. I didn’t share publicly really until 23 weeks – well on social media. And even then, I wasn’t super excited about broadcasting it but I didn’t want to have to answer the “omg! Are you pregnant?” each time someone saw me or a photo of me online revealed my current condition.
Also let’s remove the pressure of who you have to tell and when. Why do families necessarily have to be the first ones we tell? For some, they may not be in the best position to give the support that’s needed in those early (and for me very challenging) days of pregnancy.
For me, telling my best friend who has four children and who I share EVERYTHING with was non-negotiable, I was not doing this without her! There were other friends who I called on often for support and venting who I needed in my corner. My husband isn’t as much of a sharer but I invited him to share with people if he needed to.
We still kept the circle small, but we did what was right for us.
Anyway! End rant … back to week 10!
I’m getting some great cards this week from my gorgeous Nature’s Whispers Oracle cards. They’re about out with the old, letting go and literally some have said “new life”. Also the beautiful harvest card which is about fertility and abundance. All very appropriate.
I had some bad dreams this week. Pregnancy can make very vivid dreams so my sleep didn’t feel quite as restful. Also working a lot on my boundaries and really preparing our family bubble to protect me and you baby.
We went to visit the Gold Coast Private Hospital at the end of the week and it was so wonderful! So calm, so peaceful, and the staff were lovely. The rooms are great, there’s a fridge just for parents and we can even store alcohol in there – woo!
They showed us where I get taken to deliver and she said “and we prep you here and then you go in there and two hours later, you’ll come back with your baby!”.
This is because I’d already advised that I wanted to have an abdominal birth.
It all sounded so lovely and simple! And just so calm and matter of fact. This visit put me at such ease about the birth process and even got me a bit excited to come back to this hotel like experience. WOOT! We will be taken care of baby.
We also went to visit Grace Private clinic and that was great too. That’s where I’ll choose an obstetrician and get my ongoing support throughout the pregnancy. It just really helped to see how it all worked, that it was all easy to navigate and so close to our home – just 10 minutes.
I mean we did get lost on the way there though … We went to the Gold Coast University Hospital (which is just on the backside of the Private Hospital) and had to walk 10 minutes around the block. But better to make that mistake now and not when I’m trying to go in to have my baby!!!