Week 12 – 14 to 20 July 2020
Weight: 65.5 kilograms
Crazy cravings: corn chips and gelato, at the same time.
Next appointment with doctor or midwife is 12.5 weeks scan. A follow up with Dr. Majid on Sunday 19 .
- Can I have an alternative to my vitamins?
- When can I get the referral for the obstetrician?
- Should I get the NIPT or harmony test?
- Is everything okay with the second scan?
- Yes. Taking recommendation from Suzy to change my vitamins.
- I got it on the 19th of July at my appointment, the referral to the obstetrician.
- The harmony and NIPT tests are recommended for women over 35 or a family history of genetic issues. So it wasn’t recommended to me and the other test we had covers most of the other things that are of concern.
- And Is everything okay with a scan? Yes. All healthy and “perfect” according to the scanner.
Week 12. This was a tough week, little one. Mama had really turned a corner the past two weeks, I felt quite normal, still nauseous, and still throwing up 5/7 mornings, but definitely a lot better. I had this idea that I would hit 12 weeks and just feel better. But I threw up first thing in the morning on the day and 12 weeks. And that really got to me mentally. It really got to me.
I was also quite tired. It’s crazy because I’m sleeping 10 hours, which is so much more than I usually get but I just feel so bone achingly tired, like that tired that you feel after a day of skiing where you’re absolutely physically exhausted. My eyes ache. They’re sensitive to light, My head feels heavy. I slur my words my body feels just like it weighs a ton of bricks. And all I can do is sleep. And even sometimes I’m having a nap. And yet, I still sleep for 10 hours or so. But again, I’m still tired.
My head throbs my body eggs, my eyes get tired. I find it hard to sit up at the computer. Working is really hard and that is also mentally challenging for me because I love my work. I love running my business. And I have some big goals. I hve some really big things that I’d like to be doing and with the deadline of, you know, a baby coming, you baby coming in January, I really conscious of this time, you know, it’s now got six months to kinda earn an income and then take off potentially 4-6 months. So I’m feeling the pressure.
I also felt really deflated that Tuesday because I had really felt like this was the week to crack on with my actions or milestones. I was really going to get it done this week. But the tiredness hit me.
I went for a walk with Kim on Tuesday, and told her about you baby. She was lovely and excited for me. We bumped into someone she knew you had a little three month old. And it was really nice to see Kim holding him and to get to chat to the mum. It was nice to know that Kim is someone I can call on to come visit and hold the baby sometimes. Kim is around 50 mark and won’t have grandchildren for a little while. So she’s very happy to play pretend grandma or cool auntie and come help, which was really nice to know. And really nice to have somebody nearby that I can trust.
The rest of the week continued with the tide theme. I just couldn’t shake it. And I found it frustrating. I tried to submit to it and just let go because little one, you need a lot of energy to grow. And that’s important. And my most important job right now is keeping us both healthy and strong.
Saturday was nice and I just gave myself the day to enjoy time with friends. And I enjoyed sharing the news with my friends, the Brines, and some of Mathew’s friends from work. It was lovely, lovely to also get to the beach. And to see my new friend Kelley, who was super non judgmental and so easy to talk to.
Sunday was nice in some ways, and hard.. It was lovely to hear that some of our friends, a young couple we know, are on the same journey. But then terribly overwhelming with all the questions and how much planning they’ve already done. I feel good about where we are at. But not about being judged. And that’s how I felt in the conversation.
I totally understand that other people are super excited. And at times I’m excited, but like, they were SUPER excited.
And I have this funny thing with me where sometimes if someone’s really excited, it actually makes me less excited. Which is I know is a bit strange, but it’s how I am. So someone’s super into something like you get a concert into this is like so keen and loving it and just having the best time ever. And just like saying this is the best concert ever in the history of the earth, then I probably won’t enjoy it as much. I don’t know, it’s like, the individual and me.
So, of course, I’m happy and excited for my child. But I’m also like, not excited ALL the time.
It was it was an interesting day. It was nice to know somebody local was on the same journey. But like I said, it just felt a little judgy at times, and it felt like … comparison.
And I was surprised that this is happening so early.
And I was surprised that it was happening from another couple that was going through it as well.
And it was like, ONE, I’m ahead of you and TWO, and we just agreed that it’s the same Well, it’s not the same. It’s that you feel sick, you feel nauseous and certain things make you feel unwell and it’s just you just can’t control it. It’s so it’s like unique and you can’t explain it. And so you just know that you don’t want something.
We agreed upon that. And then she said: “oh, have you tried lamb?”
Because I said I was really not wanting red meat and I can’t stand it and just really didn’t desire it. I mean, this was early on. This was 12 weeks in and note at 29 weeks I still can’t stand the sight, smell, or the texture or just the thought of eating like steak or big chunks of meat.
But suggesting then that I should maybe try lamb. It was like, well, that’s red meat. So gonna say … no.
Unfortunately, this was only the start of how some of my interactions with other pregnant women would go. And it will lead me to a future chapter of the book: I really don’t like talking to other pregnant women!
But more on that later. For now, that was Week 12. SO many more to go.