Week 13 – 21 to 27 July 2020
Weight: 66 kilos.
Crazy cravings: country cheese crackers, cheese burgers, non alcoholic champagne.
My next appointment with the doctor is Friday 24th of July, my first obstetrician appointment.
- When is my next appointment?
Answer: the doctor in two weeks and the obstetrician in three weeks
- When is my next scan?
Answer: 19 or 20 weeks Paradise Ultrasound and Grace private.
- When will this sickness stop?
Answer: Hopefully 14 to 16 weeks.
Week 13 journal, I’m actually on track again! It’s Saturday night and I’m sitting in bed writing to you and drinking non alcoholic champagne, at 13 weeks plus five days.
I felt okay today. I woke up early and couldn’t sleep again. It’s very rainy. So it’s nice to have an inside day. I also saw a friend, Yuka. I find socialising hard or think it will be hard and then it’s nice when I do.
Yuka was very interested in you. She didn’t know much about being pregnant and she asked lots of questions. So it’s nice to share my experience with her without her having an experience to share back. But also her just being interested and allowing me to share openly about what I was going through.
I also did some more reading today about abdominal birth. I did the hospital e-admission. And I just generally got my mind around some of the things for preparing for you.
I spoke to my dad, your grandpa and I told him about your 3D scans. He was very interested and loved the little videos. So I sent that too and he enjoyed it. He was also a lot more open to learning about babies today and interested and said he’d be happy to read the book I’d requested that all the grandparents read. So that’s good.
Backstory, I had found out about a book from my friend’s mum, who is a midwife. And she’d suggested Your Cherished Baby by Dr. Howard Chilton, who’s a Sydney doctor. She’d also recommended it to another friend of mine and that friend had found it extremely helpful and said if I were going to read one book, it would be that book. So I had told mum about it, and I told dad about it. And I told my in-laws about it too!
I said “look, we’re gonna get this book. I’m gonna read it. And I’m asking all the parents, well the grandparents, to read the book, because with all due respect, they haven’t been around a child for 30 years. Literally. My sister is 30. And well, my husband’s brother is 28, so yeah, nearly 30 years for both. So I think things have changed a lot in that time. I mean, I don’t really “think” – I KNOW that things have changed a lot and medical advancements have come a long way, as a lot more knowledge and choice is available to women these days. Some of that knowledge and “opinion” is maybe not always helpful, or so useful. But, I think it’s good to have somewhere to start and to get us all on the same page.
So anyway, when I brought this up with Dad, he got really defensive and sort of said, “we did raise children, you know?”
And I said, “Well, yes, I’m one of them. So, I know.” And I feel like I turned out pretty good. But, I have to learn now about how I want to raise my child, and I’d like us all to be on the same page.
Again, I reinforced that things have changed a lot. And I don’t know how much reading or information they got at the time, or what they knew at the time. It is definitely different to what we know now. And yes, my brother, sister and I are all healthy, and were raised rather well. But I’d like to go into this feeling informed and having everybody on the same page, especially around understanding the decisions that we’re going to be making and having that acknowledged. It doesn’t have to be supported or agreed upon but it definitely has to be understood!
So it was a suggestion, and I hoped it would be taken on board. Mum, on the other hand, bought the book right away. One for me and one for her. And that was really helpful and something that I wanted to get stuck into straightaway.
After all that, it was nice to hear that dad had sort of had a think about it and decided that, yes, yes, it might be a good idea to read it too. That day, I also spoke to your Uncle James. He was happy to just see the scans and thought it was cool.
We had our first obstetrician visit Friday, and that was so wonderful. I was reflecting on it today. I just feel so calm and at ease with our wonderful obstetrician, Dr Adriana Olog. She was so lovely, and understanding and encouraging. She said it was great that I was so confident in my birth plan and assured me that we could see the birth, delay cord cutting and have skin to skin. All before I even asked! Because I’ve chosen to have an abdominal birth. I’m really glad to hear I can get this support and have a say.
Note: this is the more positive birth language but an abominable birth is most commonly known as a cesarean, it can also be called a cesar or a C-section. But I like to say abdominal birth. I don’t like hearing the term “natural birth”. Because I am having a natural birth. All births are natural. My baby will just be coming out the sunroof instead of the front door. I also love that analogy!
It was so lovely to talk today to Dr Adriana Olog and to have her assure me of those things before I even asked. It made me want to cry. I felt so content. I felt so supported. And I felt so comfortable moving forward with our private obstetrician.
I told Matt today, your daddy that I was thinking about that first time he’ll be holding your tiny body. And then I started crying. That makes me so emotional and happy. He’s going to be the most amazing dad and I’m so happy we get to have a family together.
I have moments like this where I’m really looking forward to meeting you. And other times where it’s more day to day of getting through the feelings of sickness and just trying to cope. It’s getting better though.
The last few days of the week your grandparents came to visit. That’s Matt’s parents. They’re very excited about you and want to help around the house as much as possible before you come. I’ve still felt a bit unwell and tired but it’s definitely starting to feel better.