The nest

I recently attended a writing retreat in Mission Beach. It was a gift to myself during this pregnancy. A chance to have some time out and some time alone, to be just me. It worked a treat.

During the program, we would do writing prompts. One of the first ones we had was to use the beginners mind. Looking at the world as a beginner, as though you are seeing something for the very first time. We were each given an object and asked to write about it freely for 10 minutes. 

I pulled out my object. A ball of red and white string.

Honestly, I thought to myself “this is dumb. I don’t want to do this. I’m here to work on my book!” But I also had told myself before coming to let go and to trust the process. So I tried.

And to my surprise, this is what came out! I had no plan for what I would write and no idea of where it would take me, but I ended up with this cathartic piece that was so representative of my pregnancy journey.

The Nest

It’s like a cage.
A tiny cage.
A net.
It’s something to keep things in.
To hold them. 
To hide them.
To lock them away.

It’s red and white. 
Like a barrier.
Like police tape.
Saying do not enter.
You shall not pass.
No one allowed in and no one allowed out.

But it appears to be unravelling.
Coming apart at the seams
There’s an opening.
There’s an escape.
There’s a way out.
A place where light can get in.
There is hope.

Even a cage has holes.
It has space.
There’s an opportunity to break free.
Nothing is impenetrable.
Nothing can remain the same forever.
There must be a way out.

I imagine that a bird might be in there.
And a bird in its nest is not trapped, it is home.

Perhaps instead of a cage, 
instead of somewhere to feel trapped, isolated, locked away and removed from the world,
In fact, this bird is making a home. 
A nest.
Settling in.
Making it comfortable.
Building walls, a foundation.
A safe place.
Weaving in all the things it wants the home and the nest to be. 
And leaving out anything they don’t want, need or desire.

It’s a boundary.
Family in.
Those who try to harm or hurt, out.
Building strength and comfort in this cosy nook where they can feel safe and loved and protected.

They are not trapped.
They chose to be here.
In the nest.
In the home,
as a family.
Safe.
Happy.
Home.